Wake up well rested. Have coffee while reading. Leisurely drive to the hair salon where I would relax as my much needed touch-up hair color would take place. Grab a nice lunch, maybe even go to some garage sales (I've been mad searching for an affordable jewelry armoire). A straight from the heart of Pinterest kind of day.
Instead: I was spilling coffee. Running late. My hair didn't turn out as planned, which made me cry. (Hair color is no joke, and the wrong color can set you off months or years from how you want it. I know I'm being dramatic, but SRSLY.)
A huge storm blew in before we were able to dry my hair at the salon. Electricity went out. It was 2 p.m. and I hadn't ate all day. After waiting out the storm, I tried to go by Subway to grab some food. Of course, the electricity was out there and everywhere else in town so there was no grabbing much of anything. I went home and had crackers and almonds.
Today was the epitome of me being a baby, because at this moment I began crying and called the boyfriend. Even though Sweet-E tried to cheer me up, there wasn't much he could do with my stubborn, mad at the world attitude.
Something was brewing inside of me and it wasn't just ugly, it was ugly ugly. I was suddenly pre-teen me, throwing a pathetic hissy fit. I felt heat seep into my face, and my teeth clench down. Smoke very possibly could have been coming out of my ears.
When did I become 14 again?
After several minutes of this, I sluggishly looked up towards my ceiling and admitted to God I was being a baby and was sorry. I dutifully recognized that there were much bigger problems in the world than my bad day (hungry children, lost people, you know important things). I cried. And then I fell asleep.
When I woke up two and a half hours later, I went on a walk. It was nice. I talked with God about my day, and finally brought myself to be able to laugh while crying, which was a huge improvement.
It was then that I realized that although my hair was a shock, this wasn't just about my hair. Most of the week I had been relying on my own strength, feeling a little insignificant, and honestly I seemed to be marching in place; tired and stuck. Everything that happened today just topped it off, and now I was finally doing what I should have done all along.
I ran into the loving arms of my Father. I reminded myself of what was important and it wasn't hair color or ability to be the best or most successful. Rather, I reminded myself of who I am: I am a daughter of the King. I went up to my Father's throne and I thanked Him. I'm glad I am called to depend on Him, because He knows exactly what I need. At that moment, I just needed to rest in Him.
"Because Your love is better than life, my lips will praise You." Psalm 63:3
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