A Response to Heartache

My heart aches for those who are lost, wounded, and broken.

 In the span a few short months it seems that over and over again tragedy has struck like lightning; unexpected and life altering. Names that used to be associated with marathons and kolaches, or names that weren't known to me at all, now echo in my mind like a phantom pain: Sandy Hook, Boston, West, Cleburne, and Moore...

You are warriors, dear friends. 

You do not have time to write a blog because you are busy grieving, pilgrimaging through the pieces of what was once familiar and is now so strange. Moore, you are still in the line of fire, shocked and unsteady and counting the losses.

The following is a journal entry from my diary. I normally do not share straight from there, but in light of today I feel like it is a way of coping, a reminder to myself that God knows far more and more accurately than I ever can. 

A State of Grace
April 19th

My roommates and I sit at Starbucks sipping coffee. In a few short hours we will be celebrating K's wedding with bachelorette festivities. We should be excited, but all we can do is cry, and it's the state I've been in all week. God, You are wrecking my heart for the world. 

We cry for those who have been hurt and killed from the bombs. We cry for those whose houses are gone from the explosions. We cry for the uncle who doesn't understand why his nephew would be involved with terrorist plots. We cry because we only have one month left all living together, and time suddenly seems too short. We cry and we pray. We pray and God hears. He hears when we don't understand. Sometimes, we hear His response and sometimes we know all there is to do is trust Him. 

I've really learned something significant this week. 

I've lived 21 years without really grasping the broken state of the world. I've understood it in my family, and even on my campus, but I finally see that as far as the world is concerned, I've often fallen into a very "American" mind-set. I have been privileged and do not know what it feels like to really be hungry. I don't know what it is like to wake up one day and either starve or go sell my body for my next meal. I don't know what it is like to be rocked to the core by regular bombings and gun shots, tsunamis or earthquakes.

I understand better now the importance of my prayers for this nation and others where events like these happen daily. I understand better now, that I need to pray, intercede, and give time and money to help. I understand even better now, how God has called us all to play a part, because the body of Christ is not one color or one nation, but many. And today, as much as I can, I feel for them. 

I've heard it before, and I think it's worth repeating, "Being a Christian is a lot more than going to Church and giving time and money, but it isn't less."