The Makings and Mendings of the Heart

Sometimes, I've noticed in life, God gives us pretty big missions. Noah planned on surviving a huge flood. Hannah wanted to be a mom. Esther wanted to save her people. Jesus came to save the world. And all of those things happened. 

So often, I think of the things people do and not the time, prayer, and faithfulness it took to get to the dream. It's easy for me to look at my life and think, "Ahh! I'm failing God. I'm not there yet!" And He reminds me I'm right where He wants me, and He is perfecting me and teaching me about perseverance through this w-a-i-t-i-n-g. 

So, I'm learning about what to do in the hidden place. What can I learn right here and now as I go on towards the goal and dream God has given me? What can I do today that honors God with what He has put before me? And I remind myself to rejoice in the little things. 

Today I'm choosing peace and joy. I choose Jesus!

While having my morning coffee I knew choosing joy meant to take delight in my Father. I had a nice, pretty breakfast (in bed) while reading. How nice!

A Birthday Surprise

You know those people who love to plan and can do so with such perfection it's like "quit your job already and become my personal assistant?!" And then we all know the other people, the ones asking that question. The ones who are so unorganized their phone alarm goes off to remind them to do something and they have no idea what. I'm sure you fit into one of those categories yourself. I find myself somewhat aligning in the middle and that drives my boyfriend crazy on most days.

You see Evan likes to plan. He wants to know when he is going somewhere and where exactly the coordinates are. I am all like let's leave in the afternoon and I know it's near I-35... kinda. 

You get it. And we love each other for it. And the imbalance actually balances nicely. But this week was Evan's birthday and I wanted it to be perfect. Somehow (the help of really great friends), I managed to pull it off. Let me tell you the secret of making any regular day fabulous, even for those of us who are a little on the unorganized side: the BLINDFOLD. 

A blindfold makes any normal day seem creative. You are in complete control. The other person has no idea where you are, where you are going, or what huge adventure awaits. It's an automatic fun time of surprises and laughs... especially when you forget the person you are leading around is blindfolded and unfortunately don't mention the curb... owww :/

The Blindfold (yes, it is an ear warmer). Also, the curb behind him is where he fell. 

His card was a mini- scrapbook. I got creative. We both cried a little. Good tears. 

Us at dinner at the swankiest restaurant in San Marcos, Palmers. Evan was totally feeling twenty-two because he told our waitress, "Is your manager here?" And I remember thinking OHMYGOSH what is he doing?! And gritting my teeth. The poor waitress looked as nervous as me. Evan proceeds to say, "I'd like to tell him what a great job you are doing," as he leans back all classy and non-awkward. I totally love this guy!

After a day full of surprise stops and a wonderful dinner the real surprise finally arrived as we walked into his unlit, people- filled apartment to the unanimous shouts of "Happy Birthday" and "Surprise!" 

Overall, it was the perfect day. I thank God all the timing worked out and for all the laughs we had. Moral of the story (for all my non-planners out there): when it doubt, use a blind fold!

Happy Birthday Evan. I love you!

A Royal Mess; My Eventful Day Off

The story of how today, my day off, with marvelously big plans, was supposed to go:

Wake up well rested. Have coffee while reading. Leisurely drive to the hair salon where I would relax as my much needed touch-up hair color would take place. Grab a nice lunch, maybe even go to some garage sales (I've been mad searching for an affordable jewelry armoire). A straight from the heart of Pinterest kind of day. 

Instead: I was spilling coffee. Running late. My hair didn't turn out as planned, which made me cry. (Hair color is no joke, and the wrong color can set you off months or years from how you want it. I know I'm being dramatic, but SRSLY.)

A huge storm blew in before we were able to dry my hair at the salon. Electricity went out. It was 2 p.m. and I hadn't ate all day. After waiting out the storm, I tried to go by Subway to grab some food. Of course, the electricity was out there and everywhere else in town so there was no grabbing much of anything. I went home and had crackers and almonds.

Today was the epitome of me being a baby, because at this moment I began crying and called the boyfriend. Even though Sweet-E tried to cheer me up, there wasn't much he could do with my stubborn, mad at the world attitude.

Something was brewing inside of me and it wasn't just ugly, it was ugly ugly. I was suddenly pre-teen me, throwing a pathetic hissy fit. I felt heat seep into my face, and my teeth clench down. Smoke very possibly could have been coming out of my ears.

When did I become 14 again?

After several minutes of this, I sluggishly looked up towards my ceiling and admitted to God I was being a baby and was sorry. I dutifully recognized that there were much bigger problems in the world than my bad day (hungry children, lost people, you know important things). I cried. And then I fell asleep.

When I woke up two and a half hours later, I went on a walk. It was nice. I talked with God about my day, and finally brought myself to be able to laugh while crying, which was a huge improvement.

It was then that I realized that although my hair was a shock, this wasn't just about my hair. Most of the week I had been relying on my own strength, feeling a little insignificant, and honestly I seemed to be marching in place; tired and stuck. Everything that happened today just topped it off, and now I was finally doing what I should have done all along.

I ran into the loving arms of my Father. I reminded myself of what was important and it wasn't hair color or ability to be the best or most successful. Rather, I reminded myself of who I am: I am a daughter of the King. I went up to my Father's throne and I thanked Him. I'm glad I am called to depend on Him, because He knows exactly what I need. At that moment, I just needed to rest in Him.

"Because Your love is better than life, my lips will praise You." Psalm 63:3