The Shy Evangelist

It was a sunny day 4 years ago that I walked onto a college campus as a freshman and decided "Yes, I will go persuade others about Jesus." 

I was shy and unconfident but had never been more sure of anything in my life. 

It had been one week since my campus minister had invited those who were interested at the Church to do what they called "Persuading Others", based on 2 Corinthians 5:11:

"Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade others."

I had no idea how to "persuade" anyone about much of anything, much less that the God of the universe was real and loved them. That being said,  I figured on my first day of this Persuading Others thing I would be an observer... just watch and see how it all played out. My confidence was only in that: I should do this, not that I could this. 

I don't remember much about my first try at intentional evangelism. My campus minister had started a conversation about Jesus with a stranger. I was very impressed that it was semi-normal and not quite as awkward as I expected. It had only been a few minutes and I was trying to keep up and process words like inerrancy, individualism, and many "ism's" I didn't know were even words. Suddenly, in the middle of their dialogue, I heard something that made me want to RUN and HIDE.

"My good friend Tessa here is going to share her story with you." 

Suddenly all eyes were on me and time seemed to s-l-o-w-d-o-w-n. I did my best to on-the-spot sum up how Jesus had changed my disastrously messed up life and why this was even relevant for an absolute stranger to hear. "I'm doing it for Jesus, because He gave me everything" I felt my heart cry. My mouth on the other hand, made much less sense.

 I don't remember the stranger's response, but I clearly remember my campus minister saying afterwards, "Let me tell you why that was great." The next thing I knew, was that I, little shy-girl, barely-18-from-small-town-nowhere-TX, could share the gospel. 

Fast forward 4 years and I'm interning with Every Nation Ministries. For the first time in my life, I was taught how to live out the Bible practically and in the context of discipleship and community. My perspective on being a Christian is forever changed for the best. 

No one has ever told me I have the gift of evangelism. I don't have to be well spoken or extremely outgoing. I still share my story slowly and with a country twang. I still get nervous. In fact, I'm not even sure what "giftings" I naturally have. I just continue to say "YES" to God. 

I cannot NOT share my story. I cannot NOT share the gospel. It is the goodnews that people need to hear. It is the truth that has been exchanged for a lie, but that is being redeemed through believers with faith in the One who can save and are obeying the call to "GO, therefore and make disciples..." 

A Love that Conquers All

                                              So, you've found the love of your life.

The final cresendo. Wedding bells. Dun dun dundun. Oooo's and Ahhh's. Tears. She does. He does. I do, they say. Bubbles, sparklers, and rice. Just Married...

All of this is because of some unique, string-of-events story that brought this fabulous couple together.
And it is real love. She has found the love of her life. He has found the love of his life. What can be greater?

There is One who is greater. I am so excited for all of my friends who are getting married and one day I pray they are just as excited or more excited for me. Weddings are beautiful. A covenant before God and the world. I am so excited to be married one day. I've dreamed about it since I was a little girl in a Cinderella dress. 

But this week I am being reminded of how great the love of my God is. He is the bridegroom of His church, His people. The ones who overcome this world with His help. One day there will be a wedding that will be the most beautiful, other worldly, unequivocally awesome wedding of existence. Not only do I not want to miss out on His love, I will die without it. Forever.

 I am saddened when I see so many people search their whole lives, consumed with finding the love of their life, when they never know the lover of their soul. 

Specifically, I am reminded of all my friends who don't know Jesus, and His love for them, and I know I have a mission to both model His love and tell them about His love.

Someone has to tell them. 

Jesus loves you so much. He knows your every hurt and pain. He sees the desires of your heart. He has a plan and purpose for you. He wants to renew and refresh and heal. He gives ABUNDANT life. He holds your right hand. He will not leave nor forsake you. His love is patient and kind. His love is fierce for you. For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross and despised the shame. He loves us. Nothing can separate you from the love of Jesus, except you. 

WHY DO WE SPEND OUR WHOLE LIVES SEARCHING FOR THE LOVE OF OUR LIFE WITHOUT WANTING FIRST AND FOREMOST THE LOVER OF OUR SOULS?

Who is Ever Ready?

I have never read any of the Lemony Snicket books. I always blew them off as too silly for me. I saw one of the movies once when I was around 15, and well... it didn't leave a lasting impression. Recently though, I came across this quote and fell in love with it. The truth of it just echoes throughout my whole being! What am I waiting for? Some things I'll never be ready for, until I do them!

The evidence of this truth can be seen throughout my whole life.

I wasn't ready to ride a bike, until I figured out how to do it after many painful falls. Then I was a 6 year old biker chick cruising around the park.

I wasn't ready to go on my first field trip without my mom, but when I did I had so much fun.

I wasn't ready to play my first volleyball game in 7th grade. I was so nervous I would be terrible in front of a whole gym of people. Volleyball became my favorite sport!

I wasn't ready for my family to drive away 3 1/2 years ago when they helped me move to San Marcos for college. Yet, God used these past years to grow me and help me become who I am and find my identity solely in Jesus.

I wasn't ready to lead a small group or share my testimony until I JUST DID IT. Now, I trust God to speak through me.

I wasn't ready to get in a relationship, because I was convinced that eventually I would hurt the other person. There were so many times even in my mind I would play out a whole scenario of how something wouldn't work out before it ever even started! But God has taught me so much about faith, commitment, and communication with my boyfriend of ONE YEAR this month, Evan! And I'm so thankful and happy.

I don't want to wait the rest of my life and look back to see all things I could have done. So here I am, inspired by a quote from a book I didn't give the time of day. Maybe I'll visit half price and books and check it out. Or maybe I'll start writing my own book one day. I don't feel ready, but who ever is?